Those three words that can sometimes lead to my ultimate mom guilt. Because they come again and again! Sometimes I think , “not again. I love you, but I have SO much to do….. or I just want to socialize for a few minutes with the other moms! Play date is for mama’s sanity too child! I can’t wait til you are old enough to swing yourself.” And then you know what… I feel guilty again for looking at such a task as a chore.
Because, tomorrow, they will grow up and my 2 year old won’t have that little sweet chime in his voice when he comes to my office door and “mom you come push me? Push me on da swing mom!” And so then I pull away from whatever email, edit or project I am working on to go out in the backyard and push him. (not always mind you, but I attempt to balance it out) I lift the swing back back back and let go. And he or she will squeal with delight “Wheeeeeee!! Higher mom higher! Whoa mom, too high, too scary…”
It goes on.
But you know something…. as adorable as their little chimes or squeals of joy are, there is something a little sweeter.
Sometimes I will be working, and take a look out the door into the backyard and see something adorable, I hear something adorable. It is the way they play with each other. Yes there is the “NO IT’s MY turn First! MOOOOMMMMMM Milo’s NOT letting me have a TURN!” thrown in there… but every once in a while, I hear them playing together nicely and taking turns spinning each other and giggling together. This sibling bonding is heartwarming and I love to see it. I believe that even at a young age, kids recognize the sacrifices we make. Believe me, there are times I can’t get anything done! But I have noticed what a huge difference breaking up my day has also had on me, on any stresses etc to step away from chores or emails or whatever to play with the kids, to go to the park, to stop and smell the roses… It brings me back to priorities, to family, and you know something… it drives me, motivates me.
Madeline will notice when I make a sacrifice and she sees when I am turning away from something else that I need to get done. And it is a serious tug and pull. This balancing act. Being an adult, helping pay the bills and making those sacrifices. I feel like a juggler for a reason. That ought to be a synonym for adult.
Madeline sees when I pull away because every time she sees that I am spending quality time with her, and not half looking at the phone or playing hide and seek (while doing chores at the same time (admit it! you do it too:)
In those moments we are building a puzzle, or reading a book or playing with ponies, or swinging, even if it just 5 or 10 minutes here and there…. she looks at me and says, “I love you mom.”
Time is love.
Have you played today?