The Fault of New Years Resolutions

 

It’s that time of year we have either started succeeding or given up and failed at whatever said ‘resolutions’ we made for ourselves. And that inner voice may start to creep in and be anything but good for our personal development.

This morning I spoke with both grandmothers.  We chatted on the phone on speaker and my 4-year-old and squealy baby interrupted from time to time.

I enjoyed catching up with them and listening to them share what they were up to.  After I got off the phone with each of them I was pondering back on our conversations.  Both grandmothers did the same thing!  Both expressed slowing down more and more each day and both expressed frustration on not being able to ‘keep up’.

“Ah! The never-ending to do list” I thought to myself.  The never-ending comparison game of seeing what the person next to us is capable of doing and letting it get us down. The ultimate killer of productivity if you ask me.

As one of my grandmothers was expressing her frustration, I could only relate! Not being able to complete a simple task because of certain obstacles.  The only difference, the obstacles!  And I thought, “This woman has raised 8 children! She has worked so hard, of course getting older and slowing down have to be hard on anyone who is a get things done girl”  And my other grandmother I thought much the same of how hard she has worked as a single mother in many of her years and balancing all that.

The thing is.  When I was thinking about how both women shared their overwhelm, part of me thought, “How silly!  You have done so much and needn’t feel these expectations you put on yourself..”

I continued to think about how amazing both of them were and how if only they focused on what they have achieved instead of all they unable to it would be better.

Better for their peace of mind, self-esteem, just better!

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So let us all take a moment for ourselves and throw our own confetti! And remark on all the things that we HAVE accomplished instead of focusing on all we have not.

When I pondered on my grandmother’s words, I thought about how we are years apart and still in a similar boat.  For them, at this point in their life, it is physical limitations, for me, it is little ones that seem to have an acute talent for finding and dumping any and everything in this house.

As I am sure you may very well relate, as I express my daily stresses, my grandmother reminds me to love those moments anyway.

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I am a big todo list maker.  Partly for helping me to just organize my mind.  And also, as my husband tells me, “one of the most Optimistic people he knows”  meaning I like to make a LOT of big, realistically not achievable plans.  And when I can’t accomplish all that I set out to do, I hit a low.

Lately, I have been sorting through old paperwork and old todo lists.  And you know what? I look back on some of those lists and see a whole lot of little things I have spent too much energy fretting over! Funny little things. There is something about putting distance in time and looking back to remind yourself of the things that really matter.

So here is my happy challenge to you.  You mama’s who may be getting bogged down on all the things you are not accomplishing.

Focus in the moment on what you CAN do in any one moment.

“Right now I CAN change this diaper”

“Right now I CAN send a quick happy birthday text to a friend”

“Right now I CAN settle these kids argument”

Pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments and the overwhelm will begin to look a little sillier.

Let us go easy on the expectations and instead celebrate our individual successes.  Even if that might just mean putting on real pants for the day!

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